


In from the Rain

by SoonerOrLater



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Established Relationship, Father/Son, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Parent relationship, Pre-Relationship, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:13:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29264085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoonerOrLater/pseuds/SoonerOrLater
Summary: Back in New York, David was attacked by a hook-up and Johnny was there to look after him. Ten years later it's come back to haunt him at Patrick learns what happened that weekend.
Relationships: David Rose & Johnny Rose, David Rose & Moira Rose, David Rose/Patrick Brewer
Comments: 12
Kudos: 159





	In from the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> TW: This contains descriptions of violence in sexual situations as well as non-consensual moments. 
> 
> I needed a bit of Johnny Rose looking out for his family. This is a bit of a dark way to get that, but it's what happened.

It had been an unfortunate coming together of unrelated moments. And now David was sat, in the rain, on the sad little bench at the edge of the park. Getting up and running away in the rain was, he reasoned a fitting parallel. 

He sensed Patrick behind him before he spoke. 

‘That sweater is dry clean only, and you’ll complain for days if it shrinks.’ 

David turned, blinking both the rain and tears out of his eyes. ‘It’s got at least another minute before it soaks through.’ 

‘Are you coming back inside?’ Patrick asked, or am I getting my jeans even wetter joining you here?’

David considered his options. He realised where he needed to be. ‘Can you take me home? I need to speak to my Dad.’ he said, raising an eyebrow. Patrick frowned at him. But ever patient and understanding he nodded.

‘Yeah if that’s what you want.’ he jerked his head ‘Store is all locked up, come on.’ 

A short while later they stopped outside the Motel. 

‘I’m sorry.’ David said, ‘For freaking out. You’d never hit me. It was...a reflex.’

‘You thought I was going to hit you?!’ Patrick hadn’t known what David’s reaction was about, but his blood ran cold at the thought. He reached over instinctively then pulled back again. Luckily David reached over, holding his arm. 

He shook his head. ‘No, really no.’ he dipped his head to make sure Patrick was looking at him. ‘Call it, a flashback or whatever.’ he dropped his hand from Patrick’s arm and pulled it back into his lap. ‘But I’m sorry.’

Patrick reached over, his hand on David’s neck. He ran over it in his mind again. They’d been bickering all day about at first another Open Mic night, then about the arrangement of the window display and later about whose fault it was a restock hadn’t been ordered. It had started as their usual back and forth, Patrick teasing David as usual about his silly snobbery. Things had got more pointed and tense after lunch, and Patrick hadn’t known why. But he’d assumed David was just in a mood. In an attempt to snap him out of it with a combination of silliness and what he’d hoped was an idea of how to make it up to him later, he’d shoved him against a wall in the back room. He was about to kiss him when David had ducked out of his way, and the angle at which Patrick lost his balance, he now realised, closing his eyes against it, might have looked, in the wrong state of mind, like his fist coming towards his boyfriend. ‘David, I would never…’ he reached out a hand again, resting it on David’s forearm. ‘You want to tell me what’s going on?’ he asked gently. ‘I mean I’m assuming- I’m hoping here David-this is something from a long time ago that’s just popped up to haunt you or something, but help me out here.’ he dropped his hand from David’s neck, giving him a bit of space. 

‘Come inside?’ David said ‘Alexis is out.’

‘Don’t you need to talk to your Dad?’ Patrick frowned. 

‘I need to talk to you first.’ he said with a small smile. Patrick nodded and they both ran through the rain into the Motel. 

David stepped out into the street and realised it was raining. Because of fucking course it was raining. He wiped what he thought was damp from the rain off his forehead, feeling the product from his hair run into his eyes. Instead, his hand caught blood, mixed with rainwater, making it all the worse. 

‘Fuck.’ he muttered. He took his scarf and wiped at his head, trying in vain to hail a cab. He started to walk, faster and faster as if that would get him away faster. He knew without thinking about it where he was heading. His Dad was in town and would be at the apartment he kept in New York for business. The hotel he’d just left was in midtown, his parent’s place was on the Upper West Side. It was a long way, it was raining. But he could walk it. 

So he did. Faster than he’d thought. Drenched through and aching by the time he arrived. 

‘Hey Carlos is my Dad home?’ he asked the Doorman, trying to make his voice as light as possible. 

Carlos, a man of around fifty now David guessed nodded with a slight frown. ‘Here Rose Junior’ he said, handing a wad of paper towels from behind the counter, his soft accent making his nickname for David still comical even though David was now about a foot taller than him. He’d worked here since his Dad bought the place when David was eight. 

‘Thanks.’ David said, wincing as he caught what he assumed was a bruise on his cheek. 

‘Rough night?’ Carlos said kindly, without judgement. He’d seen David in worse states in some respects. 

‘Could say that.’ David said. ‘Too much drink.’ it wasn’t really a lie. 

‘Your Dad, he’ll make you coffee, sort you out.’ Carlos said ‘Also he ordered pizza for dinner.’ he winked at David. 

He nodded a thanks and headed to the elevator. Once inside he collapsed against the wall with exhaustion. In the short time it took to get to the fifth floor all the adrenaline had drained from him and he could barely move. He was shivering too, the cold and wet finally hitting him. He got to the door and fished out his key, he couldn’t get it in the door, his hands were shaking, he tried and tried again. In the end he knocked. Holding onto the doorframe while he waited. 

His Dad appeared a few moments later. He had his glasses on, and some papers still in his hand, clearly still working despite the hour. But he was dressed in his robe and pyjamas. Something about it looked so much like home that it broke something inside David.

‘Dad?’ he choked out. 

‘David?’ Johnny frowned taking in his son, who was drenched, his long hair falling in his eyes and dripping, his leather jacket entirely unsuitable for the weather, of course, having not protected him from the rain and his t-shirt, again totally unsuitable for the weather, was soaked, and his white jeans were now grey and black with sludge. Immediately Johnny panicked. ‘David was there an accident, are you ok?’

‘No, I mean yes, I mean I don’t know. Can I come in?’ he all but whined the last bit. His Dad shook his head ‘Of course, of course.’ he shooed David inside. ‘Your Mom isn’t here, she’s in LA until the weekend.’

‘I know.’ David muttered ‘I just thought…’ he raised his eyes upwards ‘I didn’t know where else to go.’

Johnny frowned, ‘Well son you’re always welcome here, I mean whether I’m here or not if you need a place, you know you don’t have to have a roommate but I know you like having someone but if you need your space you can stay here…’

‘No. I mean yes. But I guess I didn’t want to...go home. Something.’ he shrugged. He was dripping all over the floor he realised. ‘Sorry I’m um I’ll go.’ he self consciously raked a hand through his hair. ‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed realising he’d wiped hair product through the cut. 

‘David you’re bleeding.’ Johnny took a step towards him. ‘What happened? Did you have an accident?’ David tried to shoo his Dad away but Johnny stepped in and move his damp hair away. ‘Sit.’ he said using his no-nonsense voice. ‘That needs cleaning.’ David obeyed, knowing there was no arguing with that tone. He watched his Dad disappear into the bathroom. 

It wasn’t all that unusual for David to turn up in some state of disarray. Since he was a teenager there had been the odd moment of him turning up drunk or stoned. Since moving to New York a few times he’d crashed here, with or without his parents being home- Carlos always reported subtly back, and kept an eye on him. And there had been more than a handful of times when the latest heartbreak had sent him home either here or home-home to retreat from his life. Johnny didn’t always know what to do with him, or say to him. His Mother was far better at understanding the quirks of their son’s life, sometimes they seemed to have their own language that he didn’t quite understand. But David had come here, knowing his Mom wasn’t here. So he was going to do what he could. And right now that was patching up the cut on his head. Questions could wait. The why and how could wait. At least David had come to him this time. He pushed away thoughts of how many ‘this times’ he and Moira missed. 

‘Ok then.’ David heard his Dad’s voice warning him he was on his way back. ‘Let’s at least clean this up first.’ David reluctantly lifted his head and hissed as his Dad touched the cut. 

‘Ow!’ he exclaimed, swatting at him absently. His Dad ignored him. So he huffed and relented.

‘I don’t think it’s deep.’ Johnny muttered ‘Just, caught the bit of your head that bleeds a lot, the skin is thin there and’

‘Ow! Dad!’ it stung, and he was being a brat about it he knew. 

‘Sorry David it’s just a bit-’ he gave it a final wipe.

‘OW!’

‘Done.’ Johnny said. ‘It should stop bleeding, you won’t need stitches.’ 

‘Since when are you a First Aid expert?’ David muttered.

‘Mandatory First Aid training for all Rose Video employees annually, including Senior Management.’ 

David looked up and his Dad looked incredibly smug. But he had to smile. ‘What do you give mouth to mouth to those dummy things?’

‘Every year.’ Johnny smiled. Pleased that at least making fun of him was distracting David for a second. ‘I can also put an arm in a sling and leg in a splint and treat minor burns’ he reached for the tube of antiseptic cream in his pocket ‘And recognise a whole host of allergic and drug reactions.’

‘Well if I want the perfect blend of uppers and downers you are not the parent I’m going to.’

‘David.’ his father warned with a glare. 

He rolled his eyes ‘Sorry.’ he muttered ‘Anyway she’s fine. She’s good, with the new movie and the commercial.’ he shrugged, things were ok right now. The same couldn’t be said for a few years earlier. He felt his Dad’s hand rest on his shoulder for a second. 

‘And what about you?’ Johnny asked. Aware but always trying to push away slightly that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree in David’s case, he might look most like his Dad, but he was all his Mother. David shrugged into him and looked away. Johnny knew from twenty-seven years of him, and some thirty years of his Mother that pushing got you nowhere. 

‘I’m fine Dad, it's fine. I’ll just go.’ he wasn’t even sure why he’d come now. But he didn’t move to go anywhere. 

‘Take a shower, David. Warm up.’ his Dad nodded towards the bathroom. ‘Put some of this on it when you’re done.’ 

His Dad continued to use his ‘no-nonsense’ tone and for once David didn’t have the energy to argue. He did as he was told. Retrieving some spare sweats and a t-shirt from the spare room. He hid out at this apartment sometimes, when his Dad wasn’t here. When he needed some space from his usual crowd. Which was more and more lately. Somehow up here, it felt like they wouldn’t find him. And he disappeared for weekends, or weeks sometimes. Glad of the quiet. 

He showered, carefully avoiding prodding the already sore spots. But feeling the heat of the shower warming him, bringing him a little more to life. Everything felt like it ached or was on fire. And he was still shivering for much of the shower. Finally, he felt a bit more human. So he dried off and dragged himself back into the living room. His Dad was nowhere to be seen so he padded into the kitchen where he found him, drinking tea and reading some papers. He pushed a mug towards David, so he nodded, pulling himself onto the barstool next to his Dad and wrapped his hands around the mug of tea. 

‘Thanks’ he said quietly. Waiting for his Dad’s inquisition to start. 

‘Are you ok?’ Johnny asked him evenly. 

‘Fine.’ David said not looking up. ‘Thanks for the tea and…’ he shrugged again. 

‘David, what’s happened?’ Johnny took off his glasses and moved the stack of papers to one side. David looked up at him with a classic ‘really?’ expression and Johnny fixed him with his own ‘yes really’ one. 

David stared into his tea for a long moment. He knew he couldn’t not tell his Dad. He knew really it would be ok, his Dad might not understand everything but he wasn’t judgemental. He probably would lament David’s choices to his Mom at some point. But he wouldn’t be unkind. He didn’t think his Dad knew how to be unkind. He looked over at him, patiently waiting, and nodded. 

‘This guy. I’ve seen him a few times- he doesn’t live here, but you know when he’s in town we ...go to dinner or whatever.’ his Dad raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything, David knew his Dad wished he'd just find someone ‘nice to date’ like normal people, the latter being unsaid. He couldn’t make him understand he was really trying to do that. He just never seemed to manage it. 

‘And you were with this guy tonight?’ Johnny asked carefully, but with a nod to David’s face, making it clear he wasn’t letting this go, even if he was letting David get there in his own time. 

David sniffed and nodded. ‘He um, fuck Dad I don’t know how to say it.’

‘David you can tell me anything you know. I might not be as cool as your Mom in some ways but I won’t judge you. I just want to help.’

David nodded. ‘He, well this guy says he’s not gay, he doesn’t do this with guys.’ he looked down at his mug again. ‘There are guys like that out there, you know they pick up guys do whatever, say it’s just one time. It happens. It’s happened to me before. They’re mostly harmless. And bad in bed.’ he rolled his eyes again. ‘Sorry, Dad.’ 

‘But this guy, you’ve seen him before?’ Johnny was confused, which wasn’t unusual when it came to his son’s sexual and romantic adventures, usually, Moira was there to translate for him. She was much better at this than he was. 

‘Yeah. He calls me up whenever he’s in town.’ David shook his head. ‘And I go. I don’t know why…’ he looked down again. He knew why, because someone wanted him. And that was about all it took lately. Not just lately. ‘He was nice. The first time. He’s older.’ again he looked up guiltily. As if that was the thing to be ashamed of. 

Johnny didn’t care who David dated really. He’d often expressed to Moira his frustration that David couldn’t seem to find a nice person to settle down with. Or even to date for any length of time. And he didn’t know, really didn’t know, what his son did to attract quite so many people who would hurt him so badly. But this was the first time he’d seen him physically hurt and that was a new and slightly frightening revelation. 

David continued; ‘I think he’s got a wife but he never told me- and I swear I didn’t know that when it started but that’s not the point I guess I should have stopped it.’ He knew his Dad had strong thoughts on fidelity in marriage. But he didn’t say anything now. ‘This guy, he sleeps with guys- with me. And then.’ David took a breath ‘He gets angry.’ He flicked his eyes up, his Dad fractionally moved an eyebrow, David familiar with his Dad’s multitude of eyebrow based expressions knew it just meant he was listening, so he carried on. ‘He’s angry at himself, it’s this fucked up self-loathing thing that guys get, they think they shouldn't be gay or bi or whatever, and I get that, this shit is fucked up but-’

‘What did he do David?’ his Dad’s tone was even but David could sense the edge to it. 

‘It’s about him not me, and he’s the one who is messed up and I get that.’ he was rambling now. He felt his Dad’s hand on his arm 

‘Son. What did he do?’ Johnny kept his hand there. David didn’t speak. He decided to help him out. ‘He hit you?’ David nodded biting his lip. ‘Was this the first time?’ David shook his head. ‘Ok.’ Johnny said slowly, squeezing David’s arm. ‘Is it just your face or…?’

David looked down again and shook his head. He gestured at his back.

‘Can I look?’ Johnny asked ‘Just to check you’re ok.’

‘I’m fine it’s…’ David shrugged and nodded and stood up, stiffly, whether it was the walk or the injuries, everything hurt. He pulled up his t-shirt and his Dad moved around to look. When he touched his back and a stab of pain went through him, he found himself back in that room. He held onto the counter to steady himself. 

He’d fallen. With the force of him shoving him and hit his back on the nightstand falling awkwardly to the floor. The drink hadn’t helped but it at least deadened the immediate pain. 

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ he’d heard from above him, ‘Get off the fucking floor!’

David had groaned feeling the heat in his cheek now from the first blow. The first had come from nowhere, they’d just finished, literally just finished to the point David had barely had time to sit up when he’d felt a sharp blow across his cheek. And it sent him reeling as he heard; 

‘Get the fuck away from me.’ 

‘Ok ok.’ David had muttered, the pain in his cheek stinging but he was determined not to let it show. They’d been here before. He knew this was what he did. Too many drinks in. Sometimes he just kicked David out after. A couple of times he’d been rough. Once before he’d done this. Twice, if David was honest. He could deal with it though. It wasn’t about him. ‘I’ll see myself out then.’ he all but spat. He was tired. And drunk. 

It was the wrong thing to say. A hard punch came at him this time. That wasn’t usual. The other time- times- it had been a bit of a slap, and a shove. This was clearly something more. And the punch had sent him to the floor where he’d hit his head. 

Before he could pull himself up, he felt something sharp, he later registered it was a kick to his stomach. And that’s when he cut his head, jerking away he caught it on the leg of the nightstand. He doubled up in pain for a second, knowing he had to get out. Before it was screamed at him too. And he was pulled to his feet and shoved across the wall. 

‘Get out, get the fuck out I don’t know why I let you come here! You tricked me into this, I don’t do this!’ his clothes were being thrown at him now. Pinning him again, he jerked a fist back and stopped just short. That was the worst. When you waited for the blow that didn’t come. He did it again then muttered ‘Get out you Fag.’ 

And David ran. Pulling his clothes on in the Hotel corridor and praying he could get out before Security noticed and had questions. 

‘Get out you Fag!’ had rung in his ears the whole way here. And he couldn’t say it out loud to his Dad. Who gently pressed at his back as David winced. 

‘There’s a big bruise here David.’ Johnny muttered, ‘But no cuts. Can you breathe ok? Breath in for me?’ David obeyed and took a breath, his back felt sore, as did his stomach, he winced a hand to his stomach where the blow had landed. He saw his Dad register that and lifted his shirt again. ‘Do you think your ribs are broken?’

‘How the fuck should I know what broken ribs feel like?’ David spat. Then leaned back on the counter ‘I don’t know. I can breathe, it's just sore.’ he looked down ‘I hit my back when I fell. Off the bed. My stomach...he kicked me. I don’t think it’s serious.’ he continued to look down, willing himself not to cry. He decided just to reel it off, get it over with. ‘He slapped me, and I fell. I hit my back and cut my head doing that. Then he kicked me and punched me. He was going to again but I guess he changed his mind and let me go. He called me a Fag and let me go.’ he might as well get it all out in one go. ‘I’m fine.’ he insisted. ‘I just...had to get away.’

‘David…’ Johnny was lost for words. That people did that. People his son somehow ended up with. ‘What he did is not ok. And if you’re hurt we should get you to a Doctor. Just in case.’ he knitted his brows and squeezed David’s arm, trying not to take offence that he started a bit. He patted his arm and pulled back. Giving him a bit of space. 

‘It’s fine…’ he said then his mind immediately started spiralling and he panicked. ‘Look, don't make me go to a Doctor, there’s nothing broken and they’ll have questions, and do you really want that? I mean what if they make me name him? And what if it becomes a thing? And it’s not a thing I mean it’s a thing, and it happened and it is what it is now and we can’t undo it. But if I go to a Doctor they’ll have questions and also I don’t think I can, I mean I can’t-’ for some reason, the thought of telling a stranger was the final thing. The idea he’d have to explain himself. It was one thing to tell his Dad, who might not understand it all but he knew his son. It was another to go in and explain he’d let a man hit him. He started to cry for the first time properly, softly he buried his head in his hands and tried to stop. But he couldn’t. Instead, he looked up at his Dad with desperation. ‘Dad please don’t make me.’ he begged. 

Johnny could see the fear in his son’s eyes. And he quickly backed down. ‘Well ok if you’re sure? I don’t think anything’s broken.’ David nodded at him, still wide-eyed and scared. But wiped at his eyes and seemed to calm for a second. Johnny moved to step away but thought better of it, rubbing his hand up and down David’s back. ‘I’ve got pizza, have you eaten?’ David shook his head. ‘Go sit down I’ll heat it up.’

David nodded and went to the sofa. He pulled his legs under him and a pillow onto his lap. His Dad joined him with some pizza, and a glass of water and some pills. 

‘Take those, you must have a headache.’ David nodded and took them gratefully. He was more grateful when his Dad flicked the TV on and let them sit in silence for a bit.

Johnny watched his son eat quietly. He always knew something was wrong when he was quiet for any length of time. He’d had thoughts and opinions that spilled out of him since he could talk. Usually ones nobody asked for. Increasingly ones about his own style choices. In the last year or so though he’d got quieter. Johnny hadn’t thought he’d miss unsolicited opinions on his hair and shirt choices but he did. He was eating, which was good. He’d always loved to eat, but lately, he’d looked far too thin. He knew it was the lifestyle he had- all late nights and lack of routine. But he was increasingly pale and thin. Moira told him not to worry, but he did. And it seemed he had reason to. 

David could feel his Dad’s eyes on him. ‘I’ll be fine.’ he muttered. ‘It’s just bad luck. Bad judgement. Something.’ he didn’t know either how he seemed to end up in these situations. He wished someone could tell him. 

‘You want to uh, maybe stay? Not just tonight, a few nights maybe, until your Mom gets here. She’d like to see you.’ Johnny was framing it about his Mom, in the hope, he’d take up the offer and take some time out and stay. 

‘Maybe.’ David said softly, ‘I haven’t got work this weekend so…’ he trailed off. 

‘The bed’s all made up in the spare room, your sister used it last weekend I think.’

‘Well I hope someone washed the sheets the amount of fake tan she had on when I saw her, she was practically an Oompa Loompa.’ David scoffed. He bit his lip. ‘Thanks, Dad.’ 

Johnny nodded, he picked up the remote and flicked around for a bit. ‘Oh hey look.’ he said with a grin, nodding at the screen. It was a rerun of M*A*S*H a show strangely they’d both shared a love of when David was younger. ‘You want to watch for a bit?’ Johnny asked. David nodded and gave him a little smile.

‘Sure Dad.’ David remembered rare weekday evenings his Dad was home, coming into his study to watch an episode with him when he was what, 11? 12? He was used to his Dad being knowledgeable about films, given his job he could tell you Box Office stats and production information for days. But he also had a personal interest in comedy shows. And this one in particular. He’d tell David all kinds of behind-the-scenes facts. And his Dad’s secret proudest moment of his wife’s career was her guest slot on the show. Two episodes. That David could still recite by heart. And every time they watched it without fail his Dad said…

‘She’s not a patch on your Mom’ right on cue this time, as the first nurse appeared on the screen. Johnny smiled over at David, just as it kicked to a commercial. ‘There are cookies in the kitchen too, if you’re still hungry.’ 

David smiled and nodded. Wincing as he got up, he returned with the cookies. Always amused at how well-stocked his Dad’s snack cupboard was out of the prying eyes of either the cook at home or his Mom. He also brought some chocolate and liquorice. And poured a glass of whiskey for his Dad, which he stood offering, as both a thank you and apology. 

‘Well, that’s very good of you David thank you.’ Johnny smiled taking it. 

‘Whatever it’s just a drink.’ David said, flopping down, this time at the end of the couch closer to his Dad. So he could share the food without getting up again he told himself. 

It was late by the time David crawled into bed. Staying up after his Dad, willing late-night TV to lull his brain to enough of a deadened state to sleep. An additional shot or two of his Dad’s whiskey also helped, temporarily. But he woke up at 3 am, his heart pounding from an unclear nightmare, and his back and head pounding. He hauled himself out of bed and to the kitchen for some water, and more pills. He decided against going back to bed and instead curled up on the couch again. He turned the TV on low again, so low he could barely hear it, but loud enough to drown out the silence. 

Johnny got up at six and found David curled up on the couch. The TV was on and an empty glass at his side. He looked much younger than his 27 years asleep. His hair flopped into his eyes covering a lot of his face, but what Johnny could see was far more relaxed than he realised he’d seen it in a long time. Everyone reminded him how much his son looked like him- with both David and Johnny quick to say the younger Rose really got the looks in the family. But secretly Johnny loved when they did. David was so like his wife in every other way, he liked feeling that connection with him. 

He went back into the bedroom for the spare blanket and covered him with it. He didn’t even stir. Johnny also knew the one trait he shared with his son was kindness, though David did his best to hide it. Johnny’s corporate business friends, and indeed his own employees thought him too kind, too soft for the world he worked in. That he gave in too lightly to people, that he wanted to help them too much. And maybe he did, but he was old fashioned, and he wanted to treat people right. In David that kindness translated into doing too much for people. Not seeing when he was being taken advantage of. Forgiving too easily usually in the hope everyone would like him. And Johnny knew it was hurting him. But he didn’t know what to do for him. 

David was still sleeping when he was ready to go to work. He was about to creep out leaving him to sleep when his cellphone rang. It was Moira of course, up obscenely early to get to her location shoot. 

‘Hi Sweetheart’ he whispered. 

‘John?! Why are you whispering?’ 

‘I’m awake.’ David muttered from the couch. ‘Just…’ he flopped back. 

‘David was asleep.’ Johnny confessed knowing this would create an onslaught of questions. 

‘David? Our son?’

‘Yes, Moira, our son who else? David Bowie?’ he rolled his eyes, it was a little too early for his clearly quite awake wife. 

‘Well, what’s he doing there?’ Moira asked, confusion in her voice. 

‘He came to say hi last night and he crashed here.’ Johnny walked across the room ‘David say hello to your Mother, save us both some drama will you?’ he said, his hand covering the mouthpiece. David grunted but took the phone. 

‘Hey Mom’ he muttered. ‘Yeah like Dad said, I came over...well I was at a party nearby and it was dull so I came to see Dad. Because...you always say I don’t visit enough when he’s here alone, and I assumed he was bored and lonely without you.’

That worked. ‘Well, I’m glad you’re there to en-tar-tain your Father in my absence. Can we expect you for dinner this weekend?’

‘Yes, Mom. I um, might stay here for a few days actually. Dad’s idea.’

‘Well if you feel like you want to grace us with your presence, who are we to argue.’

‘See you, tomorrow Mom.’

He handed the phone to his Dad. 

‘Is he high?’ Moira asked. Loud enough for David to hear. And roll his eyes. 

‘No, he just woke up.’ Johnny said. ‘Look Moira Sweetheart I have to get to a Breakfast meeting. But I’ll be done by mid-afternoon and call me later ok.’

‘Ok, John. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ 

David watched the exchange between his parents with a strange pang. They were nauseatingly, annoyingly in love. Even thirty-something years later and at an age where it was already frankly distasteful. 

'Are you staying today?' Johnny asked his son. David just nodded. 'Ok well I've got meetings all day and a dinner but I won't be back late. Get some sleep maybe.'

'K' David managed suddenly embarrassed about last night. His Dad nodded before leaving him alone. 

Just after 3 pm, he got the text.

‘Feel terrible about last night. Too much drink. Don’t even remember most of it. What are you doing later?’

He should have ignored it. Not even answered it. 

He went back. Of course, he did. Part of him knew he’d regret it. But he couldn’t help himself. 

It went predictably. With drinks in the Hotel bar, despite the early hour, and his usual charm. Complementing David’s outfit, his looks. Telling him how talented he was, how he would be more successful than his Dad one day. Pushing all the right buttons. Silencing what David knew was the truth. Because he desperately needed someone to tell him he was good enough. And he did, over and over. ‘You’re so clever, much more than anyone I work with’ ‘I should get you working with my teams, we need your creative touch.’ touches to his arm. Flirting with him. Complimenting him over and over. He didn’t forget but he could push it away. 

He stopped himself drinking too much. That much he managed to be sensible about. He sipped water between drinks, and when he offered to go back to the bar, he ordered his cocktail virgin. He managed to stay two drinks behind him by the time they were heading upstairs. Just in case. A more sensible person would have told themselves if you have to keep your wits about you don’t go upstairs. David wasn’t that person right now. Or ever perhaps. 

He was quickly glad that he was sober enough to realise what was happening. This wasn't like it usually was. Usually, they’d fool around. He’d have sex with David, and he was good, which probably explained why he let him get away with it all. He’d be attentive and nice, and it would all be fine. Until it wasn’t. That wasn’t how it went today. 

He shoved David against the wall as soon as they were inside the door. A little bit of dominance wasn’t a thing David was opposed to in normal circumstances. But he’d moved in enough of those circles to know where the line was. And the line wasn’t even part of this conversation. It hurt. It hurt more when he found himself thrown to the floor. He was far bigger and stronger than David. But he was also sensible enough to know outright resistance would make it worse. Better to ride it out. 

Riding it out didn’t work. David expected just to be thrown about. The sex to be rough. All that he could handle. But this pushed past the invisible line all too fast. He grabbed at David’s crotch with violence, pulling at his clothes, before pulling him to the ground again. Undoing his pants and pulling David’s head towards him. 

‘No.’ David managed. He’d never said no to him before. 

‘The fuck do you mean no? You don’t say no to me.’ He jerked David by his hair, forcing himself into his mouth. David gagged, then gasped for air. Desperate he flailed and grabbed at his legs. He felt his hair released and he pulled back gasping for air. ‘The fuck is wrong wit you?’ he shoved David sideways and pinned him to the floor, flipping him over and yanking at his jeans. 

‘Get off!’ David shouted. He instantly knew it was a mistake. But he barely had time to register before he felt the blow to his cheek. He hadn’t taken his wedding ring off today. And it caught his mouth. He immediately tasted the blood. It froze him for a second which left a window open for him to be pinned down again. 

‘Don’t pretend you don’t want it. We both know what a slut you are.’ he heard growled into his ear while he screwed up his face against the feeling of hands grabbing him. He took a couple of seconds to think. Did he endure it, as the maybe safer option. Or did he get out. He decided to get out. He shoved, as hard as he could and threw him off balance. He might have been smaller and skinnier than the other man but the drink and element of surprise worked in his favour. As did, in fitting revenge, a well placed end table that caught the head of the other man as David scrambled to his feet. Not giving him a chance to recover, or come after him he ran. He made it to the elevators and frantically pushed the buttons. He dove in just as he heard his name shouted down a corridor. He ran across the lobby and dove into the bathroom to dress properly. And realised he might have trapped himself. He locked himself in a cubicle. And pulled out his phone. 

Across town, Johnny had just sat down after a longer than necessary drinks reception. He was famished and the thought of dinner at last, even if it meant enduring the conversation of several of New York’s most boring businessmen and their wives, was worth it. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out to turn it off but saw David’s name. His son never called. Never. He sent texts. If Johnny was lucky. He answered straight away. 

‘Dad can you come and get me please?’ David’s voice was small, quiet. He sounded like he did ten years earlier trapped at a High School party he didn’t want to be at, calling his Father begging for a ride home. 

Johnny didn’t have to ask any questions. He stood up from the table. ‘I’ll call you back in two minutes. Yes. Just stay there.’ he could hear the fluster in his own voice and reminded himself of his son. He composed himself. ‘If you’ll excuse me, everyone. Family emergency. My son needs me.’

‘Is he ok?’ the woman whose name he’d already forgotten to his left asked with concern. He blinked at her. 

‘No, actually, I don’t think he is.’ he said, shocking himself with his honesty. ‘So I’m going to go and get him.’

Johnny rushed to the door, ‘I need a car.’ he said to the Maitre’d. He assumed whatever this was had to do with last night. And while he had many questions for his Son this time, all of them could wait until he had him safely home. 

‘Of course Mr Rose.’ the man nodded and waved to another employee. Johnny dialled. David picked up immediately. 

‘David where are you?’

‘The W Hotel.’ he said. ‘I’m in the bathroom in the Lobby….’

‘Ok well David there’s a cafe just opposite there, do you think you can wait there? Are you ok? You can walk to the cafe ok? I just want you out of the Hotel ok? You can wait in the window of the cafe and you’ll see me coming ok?’

Johnny knew David would be panicking. And he was well practised at talking his wife down by now to know what to do. 

‘Actually David why don’t you stay on the phone with me while you walk, that’ll make it easier.’ he was also conscious of David passing out of the Hotel unnoticed at this point. Something told him that also was a danger. 

‘Ok yeah, I can do that.’

‘Good boy.’ Johnny said without thinking then cringed. Worried it would make David hang up. It didn’t. ‘Ok well my car is here, I’m getting in. You think you can leave the bathroom?’

‘Yeah ok.’ David said quietly. Johnny heard some faint clattering that he assumed was the stall door. He settled into the car, covering the mouthpiece to give the driver directions. It should only take ten minutes at this time of night. ‘You ok David?’ Johnny asked. 

‘Yeah. Um just checking the Lobby before I um…’

‘Ok yeah, probably a good idea. Is everything ok? The bathrooms there, they’re just across from the door right?’ Johnny thanked a million meetings and events in Midtown hotels over the years, he could direct David out of there blindfolded if he had to. 

‘Yeah, I can see the door from here.’ he said. 

‘Ok well, why don’t you just talk to me while you walk. Just describe what you see as you walk through that way nobody will notice you, or bother you.’

‘I know you do this to Mom all the time. I invented it.’ David muttered. 

‘Well then you know it works David.’ 

David sighed. His Dad was right. And right now he just needed to get out of there. He took a breath. 

‘Ok, I’m about to walk out of the bathroom. The lobby is all fake marble and blue. Not sure who decided that blue was a great design choice for them but even these plants are dyed blue for fuck’s sake.’ he glanced left and right to be sure. ‘Ok the desk is on my right, the clerk is giving me a look like I don’t belong. I guess I look a mess. Or he saw me go in there half an hour ago and he thinks I’ve been doing lines of coke all this time-’

‘David what can you see. Walk and talk.’ Johnny glanced out of the window ‘We’re like ten blocks away.’ 

‘Ok I’m walking. Um, there’s people. Tourists mostly, families, they’re kids look like they’re high on M&M store fumes’ he heard his Dad laugh at that. ‘Um there’s this one family they’re all blonde, but like too blonde. You know like ‘escaped from the Sound Of Music cast’ blonde. Anyway, they’re loud and one has a red buggy. Ok, I’m almost at the door.’

‘Keep going, David.’

‘Ok more ugly plants, more marble. They need to clean this floor it’s filthy from the rain and someone is going to fall on this damp. Ok the security guy is there, his uniform is blue too and no stupid hat here at least. He’s holding the door, I can feel the air outside. Ok I’m outside.’ he let himself pause for a second. But barely. ‘I’m walking to the corner. I can see the coffee place, I’ll wait outside. I don’t need to go in. I need some air.’

‘Five blocks away David.’ his Dad said. ‘Keep talking to me.’ 

‘Ok um, well it’s fucking cold.’ David said, starting to shiver. ‘And it’s fucking raining.’

‘David you were brought up in Canada, this isn’t cold.’ 

‘Well it is with no fucking coat.’ he muttered. ‘Fine um, there’s a Bachelor Party across the street, they have terrible t-shirts on with what I assume are nicknames, I’m not even going to repeat them. But someone should tell them the strippers and hookers moved out of Times Square years ago if that’s where they’re heading. And oh look they’re colliding with some kind of walking tour, do you think they’re doing a walking tour of the former hookers and strippers? Maybe there’s money in that who knows. And ok, I can see the sign for the Applebees down the street, and this Starbucks, who ever told Starbucks they make good coffee by the way, anyway there’s a line in this one, even at this time of night which I don’t know what that says about people. This woman should rethink her hair, perms went out in 1982-’

‘I can see you David.’

David felt a wash of relief over him and all the adrenaline drained from him as he stopped talking. The town car pulled up and the driver gestured, illegally stopping long enough for David to jump in. He flopped onto the seat then leaned forward head in his hands. He could feel the warmth of the car but he was shivering. Suddenly there was a weight across his shoulders, and a familiar scent grew stronger. His Dad was wrapping his thick wool winter coat over David’s shoulders. Pulling it over him like a blanket. 

‘That’ll do for now, until we get you home.’ his Dad said softly. 

‘Thanks, Dad.’ David said, pulling it closer around him. It was warm, and welcome as he tried to stop shivering, but the familiar scent of his Dad’s cologne was comforting too. 

‘We’ll be home soon.’ Johnny said softly patting David’s shoulder. Knowing they wouldn’t talk about it yet. 

David stared out at the city passing them by and not for the first time wondered how his stupid choices had got him here. Or even what he was doing here. He blinked back a few tears that threatened to spill out. And tried to repress his shivers. 

‘Could you turn the heat up please?’ he heard his Dad ask from next to him. He glanced over and gave him a nod of thanks. ‘Have you eaten?’ Johnny asked David, who shook his head. ‘I’ll text Carlos and get him to order. Chinese? Or pizza?’ David shrugged. ‘Ok then.’ Johnny said texting Carlos, knowing Pizza was always the correct answer when David was concerned. Especially when he was upset. His son’s eyes right now were breaking Johnny’s heart. He might not be as close to his son as he’d like. He might have missed more than he’d like in his life. But he knew him well enough to know when he was feeling broken. He’d seen that look all through High School. The last time he’d really struggled like it seemed he was now. Then he was a kid then he could at least attempt to help. Or at least ground him and keep an eye on him. Now he was a grown man, and Johnny was powerless to fix things. He could send him money when he needed it. Pay for an apartment. Buy paintings from his galleries. Offer advice for him to ignore. He couldn’t fix anything. He tentatively reached out a hand to David’s shoulder and squeezed. Expecting to get brushed off. Instead to his surprise, David leaned into him. Bringing his head to rest on his shoulder. Johnny lightly looped an arm around him.

‘Ok then.’ he said softly. Remembering a time when David would come to him like this. And a time he could fix the things wrong in his life. 

David stared out of the window, his head on his Dad’s shoulder. He used to do this when he was little. When his parents took him to ‘grown-up’ events at night and they were coming home tired in the limo. He’d rest his head on his Dad’s shoulder as they drove home. And missing a time that always meant his parents were there as well. 

Johnny steered him into the apartment and David perched himself on the couch, his coat still wrapped around him. He was shivering violently now. 

David hunched over, pulling his Dad’s coat closer around him. His whole body convulsed with shivers, and he couldn’t control it. He doubled over pulling the coat around him closing his eyes willing his body to calm down. It didn’t work. 

‘Drink this.’ his Dad was next to him with a glass of whiskey. He took it, downed it. He felt the warmth of it but it did nothing to quell the shivers. He closed his eyes against it. Nothing. He felt his Dad’s arms around both his shoulders, rubbing up and down. ‘Drink it slowly.’ Johnny said, ‘And just sit still a second.’ 

David nodded. Keeping his eyes closed, reminding himself he was home now. He was safe. 

‘We’re ok now yeah?’ his Dad said reading his mind, rubbing his hands steadily on David’s back now ‘We’re home, and it’s warm here ok? And pizza is on the way, and we’re going to sit here nice and quiet and eat some pizza. In the meantime how about I tell you about the world’s longest meeting that I went to today mmm?’ 

‘Slowly, and in great detail.’ David choked out. 

‘Only way I know how.’ Johnny laughed softly at David borrowing his Mother’s favourite phrase for his stories. They both knew what he was doing. They both did it for David’s Mom. Whether emotionally induced or chemically induced they’d both been there for numerous occasions talking Moria down from various states of hysteria. Johnny had been known to read contracts to her. But he’d also done the same for David when he’d got overwhelmed as a kid. Picking him up from those high school parties, sometimes he’d sat in the car and cried. Other times he’d been so withdrawn Johnny wondered what happened. But talking to him worked. Even if eventually it just meant his son telling him to shut up. 

So Johnny talked. About the longest most boring meeting he’d been to in a long time. About franchise law in the US versus Canada. About changes, he didn’t quite understand if he was honest to copyright law. He talked about his lunch. All with characteristic detail and lack of speed. Eventually, he felt David’s shivers slow. He rubbed his back again. 

‘Thanks.’ David mumbled. 

‘Why don’t you shower before the food gets here?’ Johnny asked and David nodded. They needed to have a conversation about what had happened. About the new cut on his face. But first he just needed David to feel safe again. 

It took until late that night for him to talk. Beyond a cursory ‘yes’ ‘no’ ‘thank you’ around food, or turning on the tv. Peppered with the occasional ‘Ok’, David hadn’t spoken. And Johnny had waited. There was a movie on TV they were half watching. David had shifted, curled up on the far end of the couch in a ball. Finally, Johnny decided he had to take the lead.

‘Is there anything you want to tell me David?’ he asked ‘About tonight.’

David shook his head into his drink. ‘Just the same stupid things I get myself into Dad. You know that.’ he’d brought his defences back up, already filed it away in his mind. 

‘David, there’s a difference between dating that strange pop singer you were so fond of, and coming home with a cut to your face and worse.’ it came out sterner than he intended. ‘David, I just want to help.’ he added. 

David nodded. Wiping away tears. ‘I think I’m beyond that.’ he sniffed. It was all his stupid fault he reasoned. He’d gone back. He’d let him do those things to him. He felt his Dad sit on the other end of the sofa. 

‘David, do you think maybe, you should speak to the Police?’

‘No.’ he snapped immediately. ‘I went there, I was drinking both times. They’ll just say it was my fault.’ on that he was certain. 

‘David this man he hurt you- he hit you, and God knows what else.’ On that David looked over guilty. Similar to how he did as a kid when caught in a lie or something he shouldn’t be doing. Instinctively, and with a sinking feeling in his stomach Johnny knew what it was about. ‘Oh, David, did he-’

‘It’s fine.’ David said looking away. 

‘David it is very much not fine!’ his Dad was angry now. 

‘I know it’s not fucking fine!’ from nowhere David felt himself exploding. He jumped up and he was yelling at his Dad because it was the only thing he could do right now. ‘But you think it’s the first time Dad? Do you think it’s the first time someone has done something like this to me? It’s not! And it won’t be the last because that’s what happens to people like me I guess. And you don’t want me to go to the Police, because then it’ll end up in the papers, that Johnny Rose’s son gets beaten up by men! And they shove their dick in his mouth because he’s such a fucking slut it’s what he deserves ok! And then they hit him some more when he says no and do it anyway! Because that’s about what he deserves. So you don’t want that Dad, you don’t want any of that. No more than I want to be the one it happens to!’ he stormed into the spare bedroom, the last thing he saw was his Dad with tears in his eyes. He flopped onto the bed. 

Johnny took a minute to collect himself. And give David some space. He knew it was bad, it was just a lot to be confronted in such bold terms with it. And to be so helpless against it. He knew his son struggled too, with life in general, but particularly with relationships. Not for the first time, he found himself wishing if somehow David, or genetics or whatever couldn’t have made it easier for him. Picking a gender seemed easier he always thought. It wasn’t that he cared if David was gay, it didn’t matter either way. He just wished life had been kinder to him in that regard. He pushed himself up and knocked softly on the open door. David was lying facing away from him and didn’t move. He took the lack of rebuttal as an ok for entering. He sat on the bed. 

‘Nobody is going to force you to tell anyone if you don’t want to.’ He said evenly. ‘I was just trying to help.’ still no response, so he decided to plough on. ‘That’s all me and your Mother ever want to do David, and you can come to us. We try not to get overly involved in yours and your sister’s lives because, well as you tell us you’re adults now you don’t need us.’ he paused. ‘I know we could have been there more and I’m sorry for that.’

He let that settle. He knew it. He found himself wishing more and more as the years went on that he’d been around more. That he hadn’t got carried away with business, and Moira’s career. Or all the things success had brought. Too many times he’d found himself alone in this apartment wishing he was back home with his family who of course weren’t there and they were off doing whatever they did. There were times he felt like the worst Father in the world, and this was one of them. 

‘I don’t blame you either David. None of this is your fault. I wish I could do something.’

David had started crying when his Dad started talking. And as he heard that a soft sob escaped. He turned over and pulled himself upright. He pulled his legs up to his chest. Letting the tears fall. He looked at his Dad, who was looking at him full of concern, and his face crumpled. 

‘Why do people do this to me Dad? What did I do to deserve it?’ 

‘Nothing David. Nothing. It’s them. It’s not you.’

‘But it keeps happening to me! What did I do? It's not fair!’ thick tears were falling now and he hiccuped his way through ‘I don’t want this Dad.’ he said his voice small ‘I don’t want this life.’ sobs engulfed him now and he felt his Dad shift up the bed and wrap his arms around him. 

‘I don’t want this for you either.’ he said gently. ‘But you’ll be ok. One day you’ll be ok.’ 

‘When?’ David hiccuped into him. 

Johnny didn’t have an answer for him. So he just held onto his son. Letting him cry out all the wrongs done to him. He hated to think about it, but he had a feeling it was going to be a long road ahead for that. So for now, he held onto his son. 

David thought of that night often in the years that followed. The dark couple of years after it, the years where he felt so indifferent to life it was almost as bad as the last years. And finally when they found themselves in this Motel. His Dad always close by. Even when his Dad irritated him beyond belief, at the back of his mind that weekend, where he’d needed him so much, was always there. 

‘That’s it.’ David said with a small sniff as he wiped his eyes. ‘I never heard from him after that and well…’ he was perched in a little nest of his pillows. He’d scooted away from Patrick as he’d begun the story and Patrick had let him, figuring he needed the physical space. ‘My Dad is the only one who knows, at least I assume he never told Mom...actually I know he never told her because I would have heard about it if she did.’ 

Patrick gave him a knowing smile. ‘Thank you for telling me.’ he said. ‘Can I…’ he gestured towards David who nodded. Some more tears escaping. 

‘Please.’ he said softly. He was hugging the small pillow to him but he gratefully curled into Patrick’s arms as he scooted up the bed. He wrapped an arm around his stomach and burrowed into his shirt, still a bit damp from the rain. He felt Patrick kiss the back of his head but he didn’t speak. David was grateful for the silence for a moment. He let himself cry for a bit, feeling the safety of this weird place that was now home, and the safety of Patrick with him. Quiet settled after a while, and Patrick started gently playing with his hair, still not speaking. 

There were times when David needed talking off a ledge, and times he needed silence. Patrick sensed, as he always did accurately, this was the latter. He could have asked more questions, offered reassurances. He wanted to do both. But instead, he just let David cry, and held him close. After a while he stilled and Patrick relaxed a fraction. They both needed a moment probably. He closed his eyes and absently played with David’s hair while they lay there, David resting on his chest, legs entwined for a bit. 

They both jumped when the door between the rooms opened and Johnny came in. 

‘Ah boys, um sorry I didn’t realise you were, um here. I’ll come back.’

‘Mr Rose!’ Patrick exclaimed, followed, feeling like a teenager by adding ‘It’s not what it looks like um-’

‘Oh Patrick, don’t mind me. You’re adults you can do ah, whatever you-’ Johnny paused seeming to register for the first time they were both fully clothed, and that he clearly hadn’t interrupted anything too untoward.

‘Dad it’s fine.’ David finally spoke untangling himself from Patrick and the bed, he couldn’t hide the sniff or the need to wipe his eyes ‘Besides we’re not you and Mom we check when other people will be home.’

‘David.’ Patrick rolled his eyes but reached out a reassuring arm. 

‘Well, that’s neither here nor- David?’ Johnny realised his son was crying ‘What’s wrong are you ok?’

‘I’m fine.’ David said automatically. 

‘Did you two? I mean is something wrong?’

‘Why is everyone’s default that I’ve fucked this up?’ David had gone from 0 to 50 and jumped up. 

‘David.’ Patrick said reaching and grabbing his arm. ‘Mr Rose no we’re fine, I promise. David was upset about something this afternoon and we came back here to talk.’ he felt David sag a bit, then he flopped back on the bed. ‘Actually Mr Rose.’ Patrick knew he was pushing his luck a bit but he sensed David needed pushing on this. ‘David wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ David muttered. 

‘David.’ Patrick said in a tone that clearly said ‘don’t make me use your name again’

‘Ok.’ David said to Patrick, who reached a hand to the back of his neck in silent thanks. 

‘David, what’s going on?’ Johnny asked, moving over to sit on Alexis’ bed. ‘Did something happen? Are you ill? what?’ 

The thought of having to talk to his Dad, to tell him the part he hadn’t told Patrick today pulled at him. That he was really going to have to say it all now. He watched his Dad come and sit on Alexis’ bed and wait. 

‘I’ll make some tea.’ Patrick said ‘Mr Rose?’

‘Oh, um yes please Patrick that’s kind of you.’ Patrick noticed he barely took his eyes off his son. 

Johnny looked at his son expectantly. Not entirely reassured that nothing pressing was wrong. ‘David.’ he said deploying a similar ‘don’t make me say it again’ tone that Patrick just had. David decided to file those similarities away for another day. 

‘Dad, you remember that weekend in New York, when I...got hurt?’ David hoped he wouldn’t have to elaborate. Luckily he didn’t. His Dad’s face darkened. 

‘Yes.’ he said frowning ‘Did something happen….’

‘Sort of. Um Yeah. No.’ David shook his head. ‘That’s what I was telling Patrick about. He didn’t know. He knows some things from my past but honestly, it’s better for everyone if he doesn’t hear all of it at once, I mean we want him to stick around right?’ his Dad didn’t have to use his name this time, the eyebrow raise was enough. ‘Anyway. I got upset earlier. We’d been bickering, just the usual stuff. Patrick was trying to snap me out of it, bless him for always trying to be so nice. Anyway, he accidentally I don’t know gave me a flashback or something- he didn’t touch me obviously. I know that now.’

Johnny nodded patiently, as Patrick reappeared, setting cups down on the nightstand and handing Johnny one. 

‘David explained it.’ he added, ‘I sort of flashback. Really, Mr Rose, you know me well enough I hope to know I’d never lay a hand on anyone.’

Johnny frowned, grateful at Patrick’s loving, but also sincere tone. ‘Of course Patrick, of course.’ he said. ‘And David has a lot of...bad memories it’s fair to say.’ 

David snorted. 

It suddenly dawned on Patrick that this didn’t seem the sort of thing David would report back to his Dad on. Meltdowns big and small he usually kept between them if possible. Certainly, if David felt he’d overreacted to something he didn’t share it with his family. 

‘David, what else is going on here?’ he asked, direct as always seemed to be the best route through. 

Busted David glanced between them. There would be no getting away. He had to tell them. ‘I read an article about him. The guy I told you about.’ he said. ‘Which is what...put him in my mind. I wasn’t looking it just came up when I was looking at the news.’

‘I don’t understand Son?’ Johnny asked ‘What kind of article?’ 

‘I never told you his name.’ David said ‘Because you knew him.’ he let that settle in for a second. ‘Of him anyway. Maybe you even met him I don’t know. He was in computer stuff. Business. You didn’t need to know.’ 

‘Who?’ Johnny asked. His tone indicated he wouldn’t take any hesitation in the answer. 

‘Greg Wallace.’ David said. And saw it dawn on his Dad, in two stages. Frist who he was. And second what David had read. Patrick clearly didn’t have any connections to make. ‘He’s a businessman. Quite well known, at the time at least. I’m guessing Dad you did…’

‘I knew him’ Johnny said his voice clipped. ‘Not well but we moved in the same circles. I’m guessing that’s how he…’ he gestured at David. Who shrugged. 

‘Maybe. We met at a party at first. I guess he knew who I was.’ 

Patrick blinked between them. This was no doubt an uncomfortable revelation, but not perhaps an unusual one given the circles the Roses ran in which if his understanding was correct were fairly...incestuous. David quickly clarified. 

‘He was in the news this week.’ he said more to Patrick knowing his Dad knew now. ‘He was arrested a few months back- I guess I missed that- and the trial was this week.’ he guessed his Dad who read the papers religiously and still kept up with business news, would be far more informed than he was. Sure enough, he saw his Dad get there within seconds, looking worried. 

Patrick waited. He assumed some kind of dodgy business dealings. Given again what he knew of those circles. He still didn’t understand why this had David so upset. ‘Surely then, karma or whatever, if he’s gotten in trouble for-’

‘Attempted murder.’ David said flatly, ‘Of a younger man. A man about my age. And sexual assault. The guy is ok. Well...alive.’ David said flatly. ‘I read it at lunchtime.’ he shrugged ‘which is why later…’ he shrugged again waving a hand to indicate ‘everything else that happened’ 

He watched the pieces fall into place. On Patrick’s face. And as they did David felt the weight of it again. He started to shake. He could feel it in his hands and then travelled to his legs. His whole body was shaking, and it was terrifying. He knew the feeling well. When these things came back to haunt him. Or when he could sense a person about to go on the attack. It always happened, making him feel weak. He’d expected Patrick to notice and wrap himself around him like he usually would when he could see David unravelling. But before he could his Dad was there. His Dad’s familiar cologne engulfed him as he felt his arms come around him. He sensed Patrick move a little, giving them space but he reached his hand out sideways and felt Patrick take it. He wrapped his other arm around his Dad, working it under his suit jacket and clinging onto his shirt, and held on while tears started to fall. 

‘Sorry Dad.’ he muttered. 

‘What are you sorry for?’ Johnny pulled back a bit and looked at him. David’s big brown eyes were spilling over with tears. His son who had held onto this and who knew what else for so many years, but finally happy, being brought down by this today. 

‘I could have stopped him. If I’d told someone. It’s my fault he hurt more people.’ 

‘David.’ Patrick said softly to his right. 

‘No, Dad wanted me to go to a Doctor that night or the Police. If I had they’d have made me report him and maybe it would have stopped-’

‘But you were too afraid to.’ Johnny said. He meant it kindly, ‘David you...wouldn’t have dealt well with all that back then, without that things got…’ he didn’t need to tell David, and he didn’t want to be the one to tell Patrick. That was David’s business to share. ‘Nobody blames you son.’

‘I blame me.’ David said softly, giving in to soft sobs again. ‘Dad I could have stopped him hurting people.’ he felt Patrick let go of his hand as he dissolved into his Dad. Who, not knowing what to say, once again, just held him. 

Johnny held his son as he sobbed, feeling like he was back there a decade ago. Helpless to really fix anything, so just holding him. So much had changed and sometimes it felt like so little. Glad at least this time he could be there, properly. And without the fear, he’d felt back then, of what might come. David could get through this. 

‘David it’s not your fault.’ Patrick finally spoke from next to him. David uncurled himself from his Dad to look at him. ‘It’s only his fault.’ his boyfriend’s face was set in a stern, unflinching look of anger David had never seen. ‘That he did those things to you...to other people. It was never your fault, only his.’ 

Johnny watched, not for the first time, as Patrick was the only one who truly got through to David. 

‘He took advantage of you. He abused you, David. And you were frightened. Anyone would be. I would be. David if that happened to me I would be terrified.’ 

That did it again for David. His ever-stoic boyfriend saying that. He couldn’t quite face this right now. ‘I need to uh.’ he gestured at his face, and pulled himself up and went into the bathroom. Really he just needed a moment alone, but his face could also benefit from some moisturizer after all that crying. 

‘Thank you, Patrick.’ Johnny said as the door clicked shut. 

Patrick shrugged. It was what you do. ‘I just listen, try my best to help, protect him from whatever.’ 

Johnny smiled at the sweetness in Patrick’s honest, uncomplicated answer. ‘Well, it won’t surprise you that very few people in David’s life have done that.’

Patrick nodded. He knew there was still a lot he didn't know. As today had proven. But he was doing his best. 

‘That time- that uh incident.’ Johnny said, ‘Was the start of a not-so-good time for him.’ he looked down remembering. ‘I’m sure Moira and I- I’m sure even Alexis actually- don’t know the half of it. I wish we’d done more. We weren’t the same back then, and I don’t know if he just didn’t feel like he could come to me or-’ Johnny stopped and wiped at his eyes ‘Sorry Patrick.’ he said softly. ‘I just should have protected him more.’ 

Patrick sensed Johnny wasn’t finished so he waited. 

‘Those next two years or so he was...not really there. I don’t know half of what went on. His Mom knows bits, she was always better with him than I am in that way...I guess I just didn’t understand the relationships, getting hurt. But it was more than that after this. He...wasn’t David for a bit. I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it was like-’

‘A light had been switched off?’ Patrick ventured. 

A slow sad smile spread across Johnny’s face in recognition, ‘Yes.’ he said ‘How did you…’

Patrick shrugged. ‘My Mom said the same about me.’ he said softly. ‘When I wasn’t happy and she didn’t know why.’ he looked down thinking for a second how best to say this. ‘Mr Rose.’ Patrick began, ‘I don’t know what your family was like back then, and from what I hear I just think you had a very different way of living that...pushed you apart a bit.’ Johnny looked over at him, listening intently. ‘But I also know that David back then couldn’t let anyone see he was hurting. He sometimes can’t do it now. But that weekend, when he was hurting most? He came to you. You were the one he wanted to help him. And you did.’

Johnny looked up at Patrick, who was able to see his family more clearly than he did sometimes. He sniffed and wiped a hand across his face in a gesture so similar to how David did it, Patrick had to smile. 

‘And look, I know he has his...eccentricities, but David turned out ok.’ Johnny laughed at that. But Patrick looked serious again ‘And I know he’s...all kinds of damaged Mr Rose, but life did that to him, you didn’t. And I might not be able to fix all of it, but I’m going to do my best.’ he offered Johnny a little smile. 

Johnny sensed Patrick had something else to add, and he raised an eyebrow to show he was still listening. Again in a gesture so familiar to David, it would infuriate his son that Patrick had the thought. But he took a breath and said what was on his mind. 

‘For the rest of his life, if he’ll let me.’ Patrick said softly. He wasn’t quite there yet. He wasn’t directly asking for permission or a blessing. But he wanted Mr Rose to know his intentions. 

Johnny smiled. Warmed by Patrick’s words. He had long assumed his intentions were long term. He could sense it in him, see it in the way he was with David, hell even the way he looked at him like he was the only person in a room. And not the way most people looked at David like he was the only person in a room. 

‘I know you will.’ he said with a nod to the young man frantically wiping his eyes trying to compose himself before David reappeared. But didn’t quite manage it. 

‘Oh my God.’ he said ‘What did you do to my boyfriend Dad?’ 

Patrick laughed. ‘Nothing David I’m fine.’

‘This doesn’t look like nothing?!’ he was on the verge of spiralling, Patrick could sense. So he got up, wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck, given David was too wound up to look at him. 

‘David. David.’ he got his attention, by shifting his hands to his hips. ‘Your Dad and I were talking about how hard it is to see someone you love hurting. And that, I’m sorry to say, David, upsets me sometimes ok? And your Dad as it happens.’ 

Sometimes the force of emotional honesty was enough to take the wind out of David’s sails and stop him. Johnny watched it happen and was astounded not for the first time at the was in which Patrick so easily handled him. 

‘Oh.’ David said softly. ‘Ok.’ he really wasn’t used to the feeling of someone caring. Or of being so aware that his Dad or his Mom did. And it still took him by surprise. He felt Patrick tighten his grip on his hips just a fraction and dipped his head a bit touching his forehead to Patrick’s. 

Johnny watched them with a smile. Ten years ago on that rainy weekend, he never could have said with any confidence David would get there. At that point, he worried his son would never be able to trust anyone. But this sweet young man had changed all that. 

‘Do you boys have any plans tonight?’ Johnny asked, pushing himself up off the bed, and wiping discreetly at his eyes. ‘Or would you like to join Moira and me for dinner at the cafe?’ 

Patrick wound his arm around David’s back. ‘I’d say that sounds like a good idea.’ he said squeezing his boyfriend slightly. David hummed. 

‘Dad, you never, I mean Mom…’

Johnny shook his head. ‘I never told her.’ he promised David and he’d kept his word. ‘It would only upset her to hear it now.’ he added. David bit his lip and nodded. Suddenly he unwound himself from Patrick and wrapped himself around Johnny instead. The force of it nearly unbalanced him but David held him up, holding him in his particular vice-like hug around his neck. It still surprised Johnny his son was taller than him. But he leaned into him, squeezing back. 

‘Thanks, Dad.’ David whispered, feeling Patrick’s hand lightly on his back. And said so quietly Patrick thought he imagined it. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too Son.’ Johnny said back.


End file.
